Minimalism and relationships

For me, minimalism is letting go of physical and mental clutter to make space for the most important things. Although, these ‘things’ usually turn out to be people and experiences, rather than actual things!

2018-07-22 CodyIf you asked me who the most important people in my life are, I’d say my answer would be very much like yours. My other half, my family, my friends and in my case, my cat :-).

So far, so good.

But wouldn’t you think it would follow that, given that these are the most important people, then I would spend most time with them and give them most attention?

This is where it begins to fall down a little for me.

Do you ever feel that the people who are most important to us, are sometimes the ones who get least consideration?

Now, I have friends that no matter how seldom I see them, we simply pick up where we left off – hi Aisling, hi Margaret, hi Carol!  I am so fortunate.

But I often find myself giving far more attention and time to my co-workers than I do to my family. Inevitable, as they are the people I spend most of my time with – and many of them are great – a shout-out here to Dawn who is always so supportive of my blog! But for someone who didn’t know me, they could be forgiven for thinking these are the most important relationships in my life.

Here’s an equation I worked out: Time and attention ≠ importance. It’s a sobering thought.

So, it’s all very well for me to say minimalism is helping me figure out what is meaningful and important – and this is true. But once I’ve cleared away the mental and emotional clutter, it’s up to me to choose to spend the time I have freed up, in the most meaningful way. And that’s not simply drifting on the way I have been. It means figuring out new ways of appreciating long-standing relationships. It means being intentional with where I spend my time, as well as my money.

Minimalism is a means to an end – not an end in itself. The goal is not minimalism, the goal is a more meaningful life. And, for me, that means spending more time with loved ones.

Have a great week 😊

  17 comments for “Minimalism and relationships

  1. myquarterlifesurprise
    September 17, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    I put minimalism in relationships in WordPress discover, and this post was the first result. I absolutely loved reading it. Your thoughts resonate so much with my current feelings and struggles.

    Liked by 1 person

    • September 17, 2018 at 2:18 pm

      Hi there, thanks for reading and commenting 🙂 I’m so glad you found some value in my post. Enjoy the rest of your day, Lxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. July 27, 2018 at 7:25 pm

    So glad I found your blog. Finally sanity put simply.😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 27, 2018 at 7:44 pm

      Hi Erin, thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely comment! One of the great things about blogging is that this type of interaction allows us to find other blogs and I have been having a very interesting time reading through some of your posts – very insightful and giving a lot of food for thought. Lxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. July 26, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    Loved the post L. It is hard to see what is important when the daily grind is going on. Just being aware of being present is the biggest first step. I reach for my knitting. Calms my mind to free it up for listening and responding. However, Jon is fearing a woolly jumper might be coming his way! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 26, 2018 at 7:53 pm

      Hiya Nik, thanks a million. It’s so important to try and find that still centre and I fail miserably most of the time but as you say, even being aware is something. Knitting is good but step away from a woolly jumper in this weather, girl!! Poor Jon 😉 xxx


  4. July 22, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    Great post. I struggle with the same things. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 22, 2018 at 8:12 pm

      Thank you, Kathy, lovely to hear from you, Lxxx


  5. beninprogress
    July 22, 2018 at 4:15 pm

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • July 22, 2018 at 5:54 pm

      Hi there, thanks so much for reading and commenting 😀, Lx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. littleblackdomicile
    July 22, 2018 at 2:49 pm

    This is my favorite post of your’s to date. This topic is one I often consider as client projects, team members and even the silly little blog, all pull time away from who is on my ultimate list of the most important in my life. Minimalism does help us get past spending hours on tasks that can be so much easier with ongoing effort. And it has helped me grasp the reality of relationships. Here’s a thought, recently I made an effort to spend more time with my other half. After a few hours on a “regular” work day we mutually decided we didn’t need more time together in that way. This made me realize that what I needed to work on is my feeling that perhaps I am not always “present” and that others around me are good with the balance of importance they have in my life. I have posed this question to our grown son at times and his answer is always the same…”I know you are always there.” Such a minimal response and just perfect. -Laurel

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 22, 2018 at 5:53 pm

      Hi Laurel, thank you for your beautiful comment and I’m so glad you found value in this post. It’s awful how sometimes we can define the important relationships and yet overlook them. I loved your son’s comment, he’s a real credit to you, Lxxx ❤️


  7. July 22, 2018 at 11:08 am

    A timely reminder, Lorraine! I think you make such a good point that so often the people who mean the most to us get the least consideration. I’ve been ashamed of myself on a number of occasions after lashing out at my husband, who is nothing but supportive and kind, when I’ve been feeling tired or frustrated and have been tipped over the edge by something at work that day. You’re so right that time and attention do not equal importance. It’s true that minimalism helps us figure out what’s important, but beyond that, we need to put in the leg work to make sure our time and energy are actually dedicated to those important things.

    Hope you are having a great weekend, Lorraine! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 22, 2018 at 1:46 pm

      Hi Lisa, thanks for the great comments. You put an interesting spin on my anxiety about giving least attention to those who deserve it most – it can also be these people who bear the brunt of negative emotions, just because they are closest to us. An uncomfortable thought! But noticing it is at least half the battle to not doing it! Hope you’re enjoying your weekend, Lxxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • July 24, 2018 at 6:14 am

        Always glad to contribute to the conversation! 🙂 It really is unfair when the people one loves bear the brunt of negative emotions, but you’re absolutely right, just being aware of it is half way to correcting that! xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  8. July 22, 2018 at 10:35 am

    I relate to this so much, thank you for this post – I’m grateful to you for the reminder to give my time and energy to the people who matter most to me (something I forget to do).

    Liked by 2 people

    • July 22, 2018 at 1:42 pm

      Hi Julie, thanks for reading 😀 I’ve fallen into the trap of giving the most important people the least amount of attention and I’m hoping that writing about it will help me notice it more and therefore do it less! It’s comforting to read that I’m not the only one to do this!! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday Lxxx

      Liked by 2 people

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