Fear and clothing in Hartley Wintney

You know when you’re so enthusiastic about something that you actually put someone off?!

I was talking to a friend last week – she complimented me on my dress and I thanked her.

‘Of course, you do that capsule wardrobe thing, don’t you?’ she said.

‘Yes’, I replied.  ‘I love it – I’d never go back to how I was before.  It’s so easy to get dressed now and I’ve got more time and I’m wearing all of my favourite clothes and ….’

‘I could never do it’ she blurted, with a look of mild panic in her eyes.  ‘I mean, it’s okay for you but it just wouldn’t work for me’.

Foolishly, I ignored the warning signals.  ‘But that’s what’s so great about it – I think it could work for everyone – although in different ways.  You could adjust it to suit your own lifestyle’.

‘No’ she replied firmly.  And then she started to list reasons why she thought it wouldn’t work for her.  She ended by saying she would dread the process and I could see she was genuinely fearful of the perceived disruption and loss that may accompany it.  At one point, I think she was afraid I would turn up on her doorstep with a roll of bin-bags under my arm and the light of battle in my eyes as I anticipated a massive clear-out!

But I was cross with myself that I’d put her in a position where she felt the need to explain and justify.

The poor girl just wanted to give me a compliment on my dress – she probably won’t do that again in a hurry!!

She thought I was trying to convert her but I felt I was just sharing my enthusiasm.

This is why my blog and my readers are so important to me – I feel I am connecting with like-minded people who share an approach to living with less and greater simplicity – all to varying degrees.  I don’t feel I have many other people like that around me, so my enthusiasm can sometimes get the better of me.

Tips for not alienating those around you!

  • Don’t evangelize! I didn’t embrace this process overnight so why would I think someone else would?
  • If others see me being more content with less, it may spark questions or an interest – but it may not and that’s perfectly fine.
  • Some people have a genuine fear of missing out, doing with less, regretting de-cluttering, missing a favourite dress, shopping less or what they feel is wasting money – these are all valid emotions and ones I have had myself over the last few years.
  • Show – don’t tell! Try not to impose a view on someone who has not shown a genuine desire to change.

Has your enthusiasm ever taken over?!  Have a great week 🙂

Image courtesy of http://www.freeimages.co.uk

2 Comments

  1. Love the post. I recently cleared out some of my clutter and managed to reduce my collection of ruck sacks by two. Down to 9. Yes I know why so many? I still looked for the one I had thrown away when I went out at the weekend. I did however manage to see how I could use a different one instead. A little victory I know but definitely a victory! X

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Nik, thanks for reading and commenting. I laughed when I read that you still wanted the rucksack you had successfully de-cluttered! But you did it – you found an alternative 🙂 I definitely think simplicity, de-cluttering etc. becomes easier with time but it doesn’t happen overnight. And, as a humans, I think we have an in-built fear of missing out!! Fair play to you for sticking with it. Lxxx

      Like

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